My teacher slapped the ruler onto my desk, inches away from my head.
[['Let the game begin']]
"GIANT FLYING CHICKENS!!!"
[['Oh, strike one.']]
My head shot up when I heard the loud 'THWACK' of the teacher's ruler on my hollow desk. Although, Truthfully, I was glad that it hadn't been my hollow head.
"What is it?" I asked as I stretched, semi-annoyed that my nap had been disturbed.
"I'm so sorry to have woken you from your peaceful slumber, but I wanted to know if you could tell the class the answer to the problem on the board?"
Sarcasm. There are very few things on this earth that really get under my skin, but when teachers attempt to be funny and witty via sarcasm... BINGO! I decided to, for once in my life, keep my cool and just play along.
"Thank you for asking. I'm grateful, but if you don't mind I think I'll go back to my nap. I was having the greatest dream before you woke me up, and if you don't mind, I would like to try and get it back."
I went to lay my head back onto my desk... THWACK! There was that stupid ruler again. Only this time, it wasn't the poor desk that was forced to feel its wrath.
[['I spoke too soon.']]
I sat there rubbing my pounding head for a few seconds.
[['Strike two. One more and I'm out.']]
I looked at the thing that was supposed to be recognized as my teacher, but was barely recognizable as a monster.
"Oh, really? So what was this dream of yours about?"
I knew, deep down, that the minute I opened my big fat mouth I would lose this game, but to hell with it. I was 100% positive that I was going to the principal's anyhow.
"I'm not sure. It was a little graphic." I said, trying to sound innocent.
"Well, don't let me hold you back. I won't get mad, I promise. Cross my heart and hope to die."
[['Oh how I wish he would. Or could for that matter.']]
Oh well. I kissed my freedom after school good-bye, for the rest of the month.
"Well I guess I'll tell you. Seeing as of how you're begging me to." I tried to make my voice sound as perky and preppy as physically possible.
"Well, it started with Mr Lucifer walking down this pretty meadow..." I saw him twitch as I said this, "... with a teacher of the year award." I looked up at Mr. Lucifer as I started my story.
[['I can't believe he hasn't killed me yet... he actually looks like he's buying this crap.']]
I continued after seeing my best friends' reactions. Shiba just sighed, and Kira egged me on. Oh yes she was. She had the thumbs up, huge smile, and everything.
[['It's amazing I haven't been arrested yet.']]
"Well you stopped to tie your shoe when, out of nowhere, these two HUGE lions jumped you and started to tear you to shreds."
I jumped on my desk for extra impact. It worked too, half the class burst into fits of uncontrollable laughter. Naturally Kira was laughing the hardest. I stood on the desk waving my arms around for the rest of the story. I was now completely into what I was saying, and therefore, ignored the Mr. Lucifer. Instead, I turned the story into third person.
"Then, before they were able to kill him, he slipped down a cliff right into a pit of starving GREAT WHITE SHARKS!"
I shouted and scared the rest of the class. Those that had still been sleeping where now awake and asking others what was going on.
"The largest one there took his arm and started to shake..." I was cut off mid-sentence.
"YUKI! That's enough!" Our teacher yelled. His face was beat red err-... redder than normal.
[['Strike three and I'm out.']]
I got down off the desk.
"But you asked me to tell everyone what my dream was about." Once again, I brought as much innocence as I could manage into my voice.
But, I could tell he wasn't falling for it. Well, I guess that laughing really doesn't convince a teacher that you're innocent. Who would've known?
"TO THE PRINCIPAL'S NOT MS. KYROCHE!!!"
He was pissed and his face was changing shades of red. I quickly gathered my stuff and headed towards the door. But, before I exited the room completely, I turned around.
"And then they took the arm RIGHT OFF!! Blood stained the..." I barely managed to dodge the chair that Mr. Lucifer had thrown, and ran out of the room to the sanctuary of the hallway.
[['Who would've known that there were four strikes to this game? That first one must have been a foul.']]
I stopped at one of the tables that were placed in front of another teacher's door and proceeded to put my stuff away; I wasn't in a big hurry.
[['Who in their right mind would be in a hurry to go see the principal?']]
I watched as one of the goody-two-shoes of the school go speed walking towards the office.
[['Why does she feel the need to disgrace my family... teacher's pet.']]
I shook my head. My elder sister was nothing but a disgrace to our family. Well, my weirdo extended family that is. I almost regret taking her in off the street.
[['I guess she doesn't really count... since I said right mind...']]
I took out one of my journals and wrote down yet another note. #7: Make up a dramatic story about them dying, via animal mauling. I looked at the list that was on the paper;
How to p'o a teacher:
#1: Offer to give them dating lessons. (Young teachers really don't like this one.)
#2: Use the excuse "My dog ate my homework". (Just about near kills the older teachers, especially if your dog - or vampire in my case - really did.)
#3: Pretend to be drunk and start to randomly sing "Who let the dogs out" while dancing on the table. (The class may be busting guts, but I can guarantee that the teacher won't.)
#4: Pretend to have a heart attack. (Not only do the teachers not like this one, the medics don't think it's funny either.)
#5: Play the blame game. (They really don't like making fun of other teachers, even if they make fun of the students all the time. Who would've thought?)
#6: Crack jokes whenever possible in Drama class. (To puke or not to puke that is the question. Wait... I'LL BE RIGHT BACK! Yea, they really don't like this one.)
#7: Make up a dramatic story about them dying, via animal mauling.
I looked up at the clock.
[['I guess that I should be getting back to the principal's office now.']]
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Uh oh, what has Yuki gotten herself into? What will happen with the principal?... And what was up with the giant chicken outburst? Stay tuned to find out.
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